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About Me Member Deviously Deviant jollymolly17/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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living a lie

Tue Mar 11, 2008, 6:44 PM
i know now that my pain is my falt. i trust when people dont deserve to be trusted. i cry for someone who dosent deserve my tears. my pain is growing at a rapid rate living my life.i want to be numb to no longer feel my heart. there is a gapping wound where my heart used to be and it ozzing depressin and pain at rates to fast to stop. i no longer can stand the site of my self i am ugly unwanted and these days i feel like a complete wast of human flesh. why does he lie to me, tell me what i want to hear and then break my heart. like its funny to watch me get so sad the hurting myself is my only answer. sounds stupid but i like hurting myself...not like cutting but hitting and scratching...sometimes biting myself. i am done lieing to the world as well as to my self...i have a problem i am clinicaly depressed. and some days i wish i would just get hit buy a car or have a heart attack just die. i know i dont have the guts to do it...kill myself....boy i wish i did. i dont want to hurt anymore...i dont want to cry aanymore...i just want to go to seep with the reasuring fact that i wont wake up...is that too much to ask...

  • Listening to: my uncle play guatar
  • Reading: the words as i type them
  • Watching: the glare from the screen
  • Playing: with the thought of death
  • Eating: kfc...i wish...payday thats all i got to say
  • Drinking: my saliva

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: fl
  • Interests: writing of course
  • Favourite movie: rent
  • Favourite band or musician: nope and nope
  • Favourite genre of music: ah everything
  • Favourite game: ddr and sims
  • Favourite cartoon character: dory
  • Personal Quote: i wont be silenced

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